Learning

I’m in my element—back in school again! I do love to learn. On my Strengthfinders profile, “learner” is one of my top five characteristics. I just cannot get enough!

Creighton University offers a Masters in Christian Spirituality in the summer. You can attend it in one- or two-month increments. I’m here for the month of June. This is day four of classes and thus far, it is wonderful. It’s quite rigorous—especially in terms of reading, but the material is interesting and life giving. The community is fantastic as well—others who are on this journey of learning to seek a deeper relationship with God and take it out to the world.

With all passions, however, there is a dark side. I can become so consumed with learning that my focus centers on the teaching rather than on the Great Teacher. It is so easy, even in this wonderful learning, to take God out of the center of my thoughts. Nouwen says it well in his prayer:

“Listen, O Lord, to my prayers. Listen to my desire to be with you, to dwell in your house, and to let my whole being be filled with your presence. But none of this is possible without you. When you are not the one who fills me, I am soon filled with endless thoughts and concerns that divide me and tear me away from you. Even thoughts about you, good spiritual thoughts, can be little more than distractions when you are not their author.

O Lord, thinking about you, being fascinated with theological ideas and discussions, being excited about histories of Christian spirituality and stimulated by thoughts and ideas about prayer and meditation, all of this can be as much an expression of greed as the unruly desire for food, possessions, or power.

Every day I see again that only you can teach me to pray; only you can set my heart at rest, only you can let me dwell in your presence. No book, no idea, no concept or theory will ever bring me close to you unless you yourself are the one who lets these instruments become the way to you.

But Lord, let me at least remain open to your initiative; let me wait patiently and attentively for that hour when you will come and break through all the walls I have erected. Teach me, O Lord, to pray. Amen”

May you keep the Teacher at the center of your thoughts.

Preparation for Prayer

I weave a silence on my lips,
I weave a silence into my mind,
I weave a silence within my heart.
I close my ears to distractions,
I close my eyes to attentions,
I close my heart to temptations.

Calm me O Lord as you stilled the storm,
Still me O Lord, keep me from harm.
Let all the tumult within me cease,
Enfold me Lord in your peace.
- Celtic women preparation for prayer

Praying to prepare myself for prayer—an important concept. Sometimes my mind is so full that I have difficulty creating space for God. It may be a checklist that does not seem to end or it may be something I’m excited about. Most often when I cannot bring my attention to God, it is because I am distraught. I may sit and attempt to be present, but am only nominally successful. I give my burden to God and then immediately snap it up again. I begin to pray and my mind wanders back to problem solving. It is as if I am giving God a peek of the problem, but not really handing it over.

Help me with my unbelief, Lord. Calm me as you stilled the storm. Still me and keep me from harm. Let all the tumult within me cease, enfold me Lord in your peace. When I come to you, Lord, I want to give you my full attention. I know that when I do, I see and know that you, God, are God, and that I am not. I close my ears to distractions, I close my eyes to attentions, I close my heart to temptations. Yet even in my distraction, I know I am your beloved. Thank you!

May we be blessed today with giving God our rapt attention.

Grace and peace,

Jackie

Jackie L. Halstead, Ph.D., LMFT
Director, Institute for Christian Spirituality
http://www.lipscomb.edu/ics

http://twitter.com/JackieLHalstead

Do not grow weary in doing good

From Jackie L. Halstead, ICS Managing Director

My focus is so often egocentric. Ministry is an honor and a joy. I love the opportunities that present themselves, but not the challenges. Doing what is right can be difficult and often without reward. My motives are pure, right? I am not doing it for the rewards, am I? True for the most part, but the discouragement I feel at times, communicates another answer. God gives me a prompt to do something and I jump right in. When there is not immediate buy-in, my feet start dragging and I am less than enthusiastic.

Paul says “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Gal. 6:9) Doing good without recognition or reward is not only a discipline, it takes courage. Courage to believe that the good I am doing is worthwhile—even if I am the only one who believes it is so. The harvest may not come for years–if at all–but I trust that God’s timing is best. And I practice. God has given me many small and large opportunities, through the years, to practice this discipline. In the midst of church struggles, I’ve had the opportunity to be Christ like, even when others were being hateful. I’ve had the opportunity to love a person when they were trying to discredit me. I’ve had the opportunity to treat my family well when they were irritable. I’ve had many opportunities; my success in those opportunities is directly correlated with how much I am leaning into God. There have been so many times I have said “I can’t do this, Lord. It’s too hard.” Yet God continues to give me what I need when my desire is to be God’s instrument.

This past weekend I led a retreat for about a dozen of our Lipscomb employees, board members, and spouses.  It has been in my heart to do so since I came here three years ago. There were times when I threw up my hands and quit. I just could not get any traction. But the idea did not go away and I would pick it up again. This weekend it finally came together. It was not earth shattering or grand, but the people were there who were meant to be there and I know they were blessed by the time with God. It obviously was God’s timing that it occurred when it did and in the group that was brought together.

God is faithful. God’s role is to water and bring in the harvest. My role is to be faithful to being available for God’s use. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

God’s Help

From Jackie L. Halstead, ICS Managing Director

At times when I make a request of God, I put tight parameters around what I want. Actually, if I’m honest, it’s most of the time. I want a specific response from God and am frustrated if God does not answer in this way. This sounds ridiculous as I write it, but it is what I do. For instance, I’ve been struggling with a certain situation for a while and want God to change the situation or better yet, the person. This seems to be the best and most logical outcome. I have pleaded for months about this situation, to no apparent avail. However, instead of rectifying the situation to my satisfaction, God sent a continual stream of people to encourage me. Many people! How wonderful! I do not know how I would have survived without this blessing. Unfortunately it was a while before the answer to my prayer dawned on me. God was with me and in addition, gave me supporters to keep my arms held high!We are told in scripture to come boldly before the throne with our petitions. This does not mean I demand what I want like a petulant child. It means that I am bold as I come before God with my requests because I have been given the right to come before the throne. I am a child of God! I can boldly approach God with my struggles and requests and petitions and know that God accepts me, even welcomes me. Is this not amazing?! I tend to become so comfortable with God that I forget what this means. God, the creator, above all things, maker of heaven and earth, allows me to approach and lay out my little problems. This love takes my breath away! Despite my demands and my tendency to forget that God is God, God loves me without condition!

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord, open the eyes of my heart.

Leaning into God’s Embrace

From Jackie L. Halstead, ICS Managing Director

This is a day for leaning into God’s embrace. Every day is a day for leaning into God’s embrace, but on this day in particular, I feel the need to be held by God. This is a profound reality. God is with me each moment! There are times when I do not feel God’s presence, but it is I who have turned my gaze away. Turning my gaze is not “wrong,” but it is a loss for whatever amount of time I am not aware of God’s presence.

I live in a different manner when I know God is with me. I am more apt to live out the characteristics of God, to be incarnational, to be secure in my identity as one loved by God. So, I carry this image of me. I see the scene of Jesus and the children and picture myself as one of those children. I go to Jesus and he reaches out his arms to me. I climb on his lap and lean into his embrace. When in times past, I doubted God’s love for me, I went to sleep with this image on my mind. A good friend shared this practice with me as a way to heal my image of God—to change it from a punitive, distant God to one who loves me unconditionally.

So today, I lean into God’s embrace. I experience God’s love and remember who I am and whose I am. There is nothing better!

Blessings and accountability

From Jackie L. Halstead, ICS Managing DirectorIt’s my birthday week—a week of no chores and preferential treatment! It’s a sweet time to be served and then to get to serve the others when it’s their turn. I like this tradition!

I don’t mind getting older, but then again, I’m in good health, have a roof over my head and have no concern over whether I’ll eat when I’m next hungry. On the contrary, I am concerned that I will eat too much! I don’t know why I was born in a wealthy country, into a family who loves me and treated me well. I was taught to love God at an early age, am well educated, and took for granted the fact that I would always be cared for. Why am I so blessed when many go without?

There is accountability that comes with great blessing. Luke 12:48 says “…From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” The love God has for me is without measure, but God did not give me all these blessings for my own use and enjoyment. It is up to those of us who have much to be available as God’s instrument in this hurting world. So with my wealth, I help those who are poor. With my health, I help those who are sick and dying. With my education, I help those who do not have the benefit of schooling from an early age. And most important, with a lifetime of being loved, I love those who do not know they are loved. I share with them the God who loves them beyond their wildest dreams.

Of course I will enjoy what God has given me. I am so grateful for my blessings. But I will not forget who I am and whose I am. I am part of God’s work of loving this world.

So What?

From Jackie L. Halstead, ICS Managing Director

I started asking “so what?” as a teenager. I would wonder “so what?” in sermons, bible classes, and devotionals. I’m not sure of the impetus–perhaps because of the practical mentality of my family. It made sense to ask if there was something to apply to my life.

This question has been a grace to me through the years. Perhaps a more positive way to say it is “What is my takeaway?” The platforms have expanded to include life situations. I’ll wonder “What has been my takeaway from this difficult situation?” Of course, the timing of the question is important. Sometimes in the midst of it, the only thing I can do is survive. God does not require that I “buck up” and see the good in the situation when I am in pain. But I do want to use every situation to grow and challenge myself. I want to be refined by these fires of life.

Two opportunities for a takeaway presented themselves in the past week and a half—first in Phoenix and then in British Columbia. I led a retreat in Tempe (Phoenix) and was so blessed by this church. One characteristic they demonstrated was that as we set our eyes and heart on God, we focus less on the “issues” and more on how we can be used by God. This church has been through the ringer in the past several years, but they are determined to be God’s love and light in this world. It was a joy and inspiration to hear of the many ideas they are putting into practice to serve the marginalized in their community.

At the second location, I was a participant. This was a retreat in British Columbia for women in ministry. The organization, Come Before Winter, offers two or three retreats in different countries around the world. This event was to serve the women who have given their lives to ministry in North America. Women came from both Canada and the States for a week of camaraderie, prayer, excellent food and lodging, beautiful scenery (Keat’s Island) and an intense focus on scripture. My takeaways? First, I was refreshed. What a treat to be served all week! Second, we were studying the book of Exodus and I was struck with the reminder that nothing is insurmountable for the God of the universe! I get caught up in the politics of my life and forget that I am part of a bigger story. God asks me, as he did Moses, to trust that the situation is in his hands. He will do more than I can ask or imagine!

The answer to the “so what?” is not often immediate—especially when dealing with life. It takes a while to see beyond the immediate and the answer may change and expand over time. The key is to keep asking the question and to trust in God’s timing for the answer.